MR BAD IDEAS
Page One

MR BAD IDEAS: I would tell you to write your will, but according to the experts there won't be anyone left to leave anything to.

Q.: I lock my keys in the car a lot, what should I do to prevent this?

MR. BAD IDEAS: I always leave my windows rolled down. That way if I lock the keys in the car, I can always unlock the doors and get in the car.

Q: Mr Bad Ideas. do you have enough sense to come in from out of the rain?

MR BAD IDEAS: Sure I do. I've done it lots of times.

Q: My wife is going to kill me. I don't have ANYTHING for her for Christmas our anniversary. Do you have any last minute gift ideas?

MR BAD IDEAS: Get an envelope. It is too late to get this gift by Christmas your special day, but you can write a note promising that it is on the way. Order your wife a special edition official NASCAR crockpot. She can have one with her favorite driver and his number on it. If she doesn't have a favorite driver pick one. Now hurry and order it from www.crockpotcraze.com/np44. I think they even throw in a free spoon with it. I am sure she will receive it within the next six weeks. It's great for making possum or critter stew on race day.

JOEL W: What is the best way to pick up chicks?

Yarbvon: Any thought on how to stop the neighbours dogs from howling all night, short of killing them? I really need some sleep.

MR BAD IDEAS: You could leave their gate open or you could move. If you leave the gate open you might have to do both.

Mr Bad Ideas is not responsible for anyone's neighbor shooting anyone that follows his advice.

Tina: I am looking for wedding ideas. I want to hack off the mother in law. I want to embarrass her, humiliate her in front of her friends for sticking her big nose into my wedding plans.

MR BAD IDEAS: How about midgets wearing sombreros that hold chips and dips they serve to the guests.

A questions asked in response to Blurb:
WHAT WILL I DO WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY

David S: But, what will you do after you've rolled ALL of the rocks down the mountain. Surely, you won't have an infinite supply of rocks. Yeah, you could hire a helicopter to deliver more rocks, but there's the risk that you may not be able to trust the helicopter pilot and they may try to drop the rocks on top of you. Just something to think about.

MR BAD IDEAS: Hmmm. I haven't planned ahead to consider the consequences of running out of rocks. It seemed like a good idea. Maybe I should buy a volcano.